red velvet cupcake recipe

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Red Velvet Cupcakes Recipe. Take two.

Okay, okay not a complete failure. But boy is this a story. And its long. So make sure you’re sitting down. A glass of wine wouldn’t hurt either.

Three weeks ago I had the same little problem I did this week, being strapped for cash yet really, really wanted cupcakes. Now you may be thinking that anyone should afford cupcakes at anytime, but you do remember I live in inflated luxuryville (re: New York City) right? Right. So you know when you get all Martha Stewart and think you can whip up something out of nothing in true minimalist baking fashion? That was me, times ten. I only had bread flour as usual, and figured there must be some darn red velvet recipe out there that calls for bread flour. Well there was one, but whoever wrote it needs to be shot. Okay not with a gun, but a horse tranquilizer would suffice. I mean really, bread flour for red velvet? What were they thinking! What was I thinking even trying it!? It was stiffer than a cutting board, more dense than a pound cake, and tasted like paper…better yet, a napkin. It was a total let down for myself, my confidence, and my poor best friend who had to do taste testing.

Note: ALWAYS secretly taste test before having someone else do it. Save yourself the embarrassment. You’re not that amazing yet.